If you have seen the ads for the show “13 Reasons Why” based on the best selling book you might have been intrigued. I know I was. I come from, let’s just say not the greatest past. I could relate just reading the synopsis. I will say if you have NOT watched the show it has TRIGGERS within it. They go into detail both through conversation and showing graphic situations to get many struggles of teenagers and adults. Would I sit and watch this my seven year old? NO!
**I received a free service to facilitate my review. I was not required to write a positive review nor was I compensated in any other way. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTC Regulations.
Let’s start at the beginning because that is how the shows starts. I may give some spoilers but I will try and refrain because I know not everyone has watched it. I guess I can comfortably say it is about a young adult, Hannah, who commits suicide. I think everyone gets that from just the ads alone so that should not be too much of a “spoiler”. She leaves behind tapes to those she “blames” for this. This shows explains in HER mind many reasons “why”. Let me just stop and say I do NOT think suicide is the RIGHT option for anyone. I want to say that before I go into a little bit about my past and why this particular show got to me. Why I feel the way I do and why it was a good thing even if it brought up some harsh realities of my personal childhood.
From a young age the main character was sexually curious and was strung through several situations in which she felt uncomfortable. This also happened to me at a young age and still to this day happens. I am not sure if men just think differently than women or if this just “happens”. People mistake your actions as something else or frankly don’t care if you say “NO”. At such a young age I was taken advantage of. Through my teenage years of trying to deal with it I was very active. I lashed out by hanging out with guys and pushing the limits. I know part of that is teenage immaturity. Like the show I can relate so well to the main character because in a lot of ways I was her. Reaching from one crap boyfriend to the next never falling for the “right” kind of person. In this show she was not raped until later on I had that happen backwards. So for me personally I struggled with this. I went to therapy which made me feel something was wrong with ME not the person who attacked me.
I kept trying to reach out in MY own ways much like Hannah does in the show. Never does she always come out and say what’s wrong. Sometimes when you are depressed, have anxiety, experience bipolar moods or are suicidal you don’t always have the words. I remember as a teen banging my arms on things just so I would FEEL something. Did I want to inflict pain? No, not necessarily that was just the only emotion I had at the time or so I thought. Do I think about this now that I am an adult? No, I have moved on from many of these feelings. I think as we grow up we realize those “things” that happened to us or things we think end up not being so relevant. I learned through time that it does not define me as a person. I wish I could say that to some of the people who in my life have taken the suicide route. I wouldn’t say “your fine” or you’ll be fine” because you just never know where someone is in their train of mind.
I guess that brings me to my next point about this show. Many people asked why didn’t Hannah ( the main character) just come out and ask for help. She’s selfish! In many ways she is because she wasn’t left to deal with the pain and hurt that her decision caused. Isn’t that how every decision we make is though? I have thought at times: “the world doesn’t need me”. Or, things would be better if I wasn’t around. I am sure everyone has thought that in a low in their lives. It is what you do with those feelings once you have them. Some people can’t get out of them. Some people walk around in that dark cloud and nothing makes them subside. I can still get into my lows even as an adult. Does that make me less of a person? NO! I will say that sometimes when friends “assume” how I am based on my Facebook status it hits a nerve. Unless you ask me how I am, How I am doing or see me you can’t assume to know. Everyone has hung by a string before. You don’t want your rude, non-compassionate words to really put someone over the edge. Now, don’t think I am saying it is the fault of the people she calls out in her tapes. It happens without warning and other times it happens with plenty of “signs”. I am just saying from personal experiences you do not know what will set someone off so proceed with compassion and positive emotions instead of judgement.
I honestly don’t think there is “cure” for suicide. It is something that tragically happens. After everything thing that has happened to me I never decided it was the option for me. If I could have shown my teenage self all the wonderful things I have now, it would truly have made my life better back then. But, we can’t go back in time. I can try and speak to those of us who DO suffer. People who suffer in silence and think no one hears them. I do. I care. I listen. I’ve been down that slippery thin ice road. DO I think suicide is a solution NO! Do I think you should watch this show even if you cant relate like I can? YES 100%! Do I think it will really strike a cord with you and make you really think further than the actors saying the lines? YES. It sent me into a few days of fog but you know what? It helped me. I was reintroduced to how I felt back in my childhood and where I have come since.
The show has helped me heal old wounds and it could also for you.
Suicide is unfortunately real. It happens daily but you can help!
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK